Gender: Does it have a place in modern society?

For many years now I have watched from the sidelines as people around the world struggled with their gender identity. I have consumed a huge amount of media on the subject, from interviews, to debates, to documentaries, news articles, online discussions, and random youtube videos. I've always been a total layman on the subject, and I still am. I've also always been pretty unconvinced by it all. I heard the plight of these people, who were clearly suffering, but I could not understand the reason for their suffering, and I certainly didn't agree with their claims, demands or proposed solutions. I was much more likely to dismiss these people as suffering from a mild to severe case of gender dysphoria, than I was to take their arguments as reasonable justification for societal change. This all changed just 2 days ago when I was midway through watching the following video on the BBC news website:

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-53573764/pre-colonial-communities-history-of-gender-fluidity

Watching this video, it suddenly dawned on me that the connecting of genders to each sex was CULTURAL, as opposed to being an ABSOLUTE. All of my life, having grown up in Australia (a society very much immersed in the masculine man and feminine female - at least, it was when I was a child), I believed that sex and gender were absolute equivalents; the words could almost be used interchangeably. In fact, I think that the only time I would intentionally use the word 'gender' over 'sex' was when the word 'sex' seemed inappropriate, such as when speaking with my grandparents or my boss. As far as I was concerned, and as far as society was concerned, sex equaled gender.

For me, personally, I don't think I have any issues with equating sex with gender. For me, personally, I feel very comfortable identifying with my 'man-ness'. I'm a man. I'm a male. I'm fine with that. I've never questioned it, for I never realised that it could be questioned at all. Admittedly, though, there is certainly a little room for movement. For instance, I think it'd be quite nice if I felt a little more comfortable expressing myself with fashion or makeup or jewelry - I don't really understand why there are limitations in these areas, but there certainly are in my culture - and I've noticed myself avoiding certain mannerisms in my behaviour throughout my life due to them feeling too feminine; appearing any less masculine than I already did was decidedly a negative as far as I was concerned. However, for a seemingly growing number of people, the equating of sex with gender is a real, pressing issue that demands to be taken seriously.

Let me state this as clearly as possible: Sex and Gender are NOT the same thing. 

If sex is black & white, gender is the entire spectrum of visible light. If sex is feeling good & feeling bad, gender is every single distinguishable emotion possible in the human experience. And if sex is man & woman, gender is the infinite variety of tendencies, sexualities, dispositions and temperaments of every person to ever live throughout all of history and every year still to come in the lifespan of humanity.

Sex is an objective fact. It is based on your physical characteristics - primarily your reproductive organs - and can only be changed with surgery and hormone replacement therapy. Gender, on the other hand, is part of your identity. It is something that varies greatly from person to person, whether they're aware of it or not, and can be changed at any and all whims of each individual. The problem is that, in western society at least, there have only ever been just two genders, each of which have been inextricably linked to their corresponding sexes; man = male, and woman = female.  Yes, they are defined in the dictionary as distinct from one another, but colloquially and practically, they are equivalents.

The problem becomes clear when we understand that there are a huge range of characteristics that are generally associated with each gender to which people are implicitly expected to adhere, including (but not limited to) sexuality, fashion, physical and verbal mannerisms, preferred vocations, hobbies and sports, and yes, even favourite colours (blue for male, pink for female). Failure to maintain one's allegiance to these personality traits can lead to social ostracism to one degree or another (depending on the society) as well as psychological stress for the unlucky individual attempting to conceal their true identity. This clearly poses a mental health risk for those on the receiving end of these negative consequences, which can be seen in the apparently high rates of suicide in members of the trans community, and is a feature of society that must change in the (as) near (as possible) future. 

I believe that this may not pose such a serious problem if it weren't for the unrelenting insistence of the English language to demand gender be known at every single available moment. I cite for you the frequency of the pronouns 'he' and 'she' in daily conversation, and I challenge you to have a conversation with someone about someone else wherein you do not utilise either of these words. It is quite a difficult task, and one that we all often notably fail at when speaking about a 3rd party who is present at the time (see: "she's the cat's mother"). It is a social faux pas of which we're all guilty enough. Ask yourself, "Why is it that the type of reproductive organs possessed by the subject of the conversation be known at all times?" And if we're not talking about sex when we use the terms 'he' and 'she', then we must be talking about gender. And if that's the case, then surely - since gender is something entirely unique to each individual, and cannot be accurately described by either pronoun -those words should at the very least be gender neutral, if not removed from our language altogether. Anything short of this will, and does, inevitably result in countless instances of pigeon-holing, misrepresentation, and inaccurate generalisation in social interactions with anyone unlucky enough to fail to fit the mould prescribed by these narrowly defined pronouns. It also results in the endeavour - by many in the gender-neutral/gender-fluid community - to push for the creation of a near infinite number of customised & personalised gender pronouns; a solution that is exactly as ludicrously impractical as its supporters are passionate about demanding.

I pose to you the question: What exactly is gained by the existence of gender pronouns? In fact, what is gained by the existence of the concept of gender as a whole? In terms of genetics, there are simply two sexes: men and women. Of course, there are attributes that are generally associated with each sex, but why do we need this to dictate to such a large extent our expectations of one another; our fashion choices, whether or not we wear makeup, how we walk, talk, speak, laugh, eat, drink, hold a glass, what we choose to drink, what hobbies we have, what kind of job we have... the list goes on and on. How exactly are these things helpful to us as individuals and as a society? As mere observations about the sexes, sure, knock yourself out; observe away to your heart's content. But would it not be preferable to do away with this concept as something that strictly dictates what kind of humans we're supposed to be, and to abandon our insistence to declare each other's allegiance to either gender in every single social interaction? Who actually cares... at all? I certainly don't.

This urgent need to state one's gender at the earliest possible moment via gender pronouns is an antiquated and outmoded relic of a bygone era in which men and women treated each other very differently, and had very different legal rights, responsibilities, and sensibilities from one another, which resulted in (or was accompanied by) an extreme value placed on the masculinity of men & femininity of women. As a result, it was pertinent for people to make their genders known to each other in order to set the framework for social interactions. This would usually be done simply by making visual contact with the person; a quick scan of their appearance (fashion, hair length & style, posture, physical mannerisms) would provide almost all of the necessary information, since almost all members of each sex dressed in a very uniform way to one another; but it could also be achieved via analysis of names, way of speaking, as well as, of course, gender pronouns. The era of the He-man and She-woman was upon us!

Fast forward to the present day, and, if the progress made by the gay rights movement, the movement of western society towards equality between men & women, and the steady erosion of the tradition of marriage, are anything to go by, the stage seems set for this era to be succeeded by one of gender neutrality, fluidity, and ultimately, irrelevance. 

It is, in my view, a most wonderful and indisputable inevitability, and a rightful terminus in an integral branch of human evolution.